I’m not prone to massive shifts in habits. Do not worry that I’ve gone vegan on you. As long as there are smoked briskets or cheddar fries with bacon in the world, that is somewhat unlikely. But one does occasionally start experiencing the dreaded too-snug-jeans, and in order avoid the inconvenience of having to buy an entire new wardrobe of larger clothes, one must relent and apply some moderation in habits.
Thus, you have noticed things like beans and roasted veggies with quinoa. You know you have put on the brakes when the quinoa shows up. At least beans have a good, down home, depression-food quality that causes an aura of comfort.
This smoothie/juice concoction absolutely reeks of trendiness and band-wagon hopping, kale chip eating, spirulina quaffing, fashion-vegan blather that usually gets me grumpy and headed for the nearest chopped beef sammie. And, as much as I love new kitchen appliances, I’m not buying a juicer. The acquisition of fun appliances must be moderated, too. Plus, if I need an honest to goodness, big, giant, amazing juice that captures a whole shopping basket of vegetables in a 12 ounce glass, I’ll just go over to The Gem in Preston Center. I think that is actually cheaper in the long-run. And, they have a disco ball. And, sometimes one just needs a little pick-me-up drink made by someone else while sitting under a disco ball. I can be hip for a moment. A friend of mine suggested that I could go pull her 15 year old juicer out of the garage if I wanted to. She said she bought one the first time they were hip (in the 70′s) and then bought another one the second time they became cool again (in the 90′s). Now she also just goes to the Gem and enjoys the peppy atmosphere and the disco ball instead of the work actually involved in feeding and running and cleaning a juicer. I’m with her. If I can’t do it in my Vita-Mix, I ain’t doin’ it. But, this, I can do in my blender.
Here’s the weird thing; this green concoction is really quite good and it is improving my life a tad. And, I foresee that in a short period of time I will have enough room in my britches to go over to Fort Worth and eat a cheeseburger at the Swiss Pastry Shop. These things are made with local Wagyu beef and loaded with cheese and peppers and have names like the “eieiO” burger. There’s a healthy lifestyle goal brought to you by me…drink enough of this green stuff to have room in your jeans for a giant cheeseburger. That, my friends, is what I call moderation.
Last week, I offered my mother a taste of this when she was in town and she got a distant youthful look on her face…like she was about 10 years old…and said “that smells like I just slid in the grass and skinned my knee…or like fresh lawn clippings.” How’s that for a ringing endorsement. But like a kid needing to try something several times before liking it, by the time you have made this three times you will be hooked. Hear me clearly…I love this stuff. I love the ginger. I love the apple. It is sweet yet it literally tastes green.
Should you drink this in the car on your way to a meeting, please check your teeth in the rear-view mirror as you arrive. Your teeth might be coated in a blanket of green. Turns out my mother did not even taste my green drink, she is so green-teeth phobic.
Add this to your personal mix of joyfully naughty habits and occasional penance. I have. And I think it will be around my kitchen for awhile.
Recipe for The Big Green Drink (2 servings)
1 small cucumber, coarsely chopped
1 Granny Smith apple, cored and seeded
2 stalks of celery, coarsely chopped
½ cup fresh parsley
½ cup frozen chopped spinach
1 to 2 teaspoons grated ginger
2 to 4 teaspoons honey
¾ cup orange juice
1 cup ice cubes
1. Place all of the ingredients in a blender and process until smooth. Drink immediately.
I do have a Vita-Mix blender with a smoothie setting that lasts about 2 minutes. This thing could chop wood. It should come with ear muffs for hearing protection. If your blender is not as macho as mine, you might need to add a little more liquid or turn it off and re-distribute the ingredients a few times. Once the cucumber and apple get liquefied, everything else starts going smoothly.
Also, grating ginger can be a pain, so process a lot at once. Place all of your grated ginger in a small re-sealable bag and freeze it. Then you can whack the frozen ginger with a mallet (in the bag) and it will shatter into perfectly manageable frozen chunks which you can toss into the blender. Frozen things are good…they mean you may add a little less ice.
Maybe my mom won’t go for this, but both of my kids…one of whom is emotionally allergic to green vegetables, like it.
Finally, there are new Nancy Lou Webster spoons in the Pie ETSY shop. I’d love for you to drop by for some window shopping.