Green Smoothie, Take 2

Glass of Green SmoothieI’m not prone to massive shifts in habits. Do not worry that I’ve gone vegan on you. As long as there are smoked briskets or cheddar fries with bacon in the world, that is somewhat unlikely. But one does occasionally start experiencing the dreaded too-snug-jeans, and in order avoid the inconvenience of having to buy an entire new wardrobe of larger clothes, one must relent and apply some moderation in habits.

Thus, you have noticed things like beans and roasted veggies with quinoa. You know you have put on the brakes when the quinoa shows up. At least beans have a good, down home, depression-food quality that causes an aura of comfort.

This smoothie/juice concoction absolutely reeks of trendiness and band-wagon hopping, kale chip eating, spirulina quaffing, fashion-vegan blather that usually gets me grumpy and headed for the nearest chopped beef sammie. And, as much as I love new kitchen appliances, I’m not buying a juicer. The acquisition of fun appliances must be moderated, too. Plus, if I need an honest to goodness, big, giant, amazing juice that captures a whole shopping basket of vegetables in a 12 ounce glass, I’ll just go over to The Gem in Preston Center. I think that is actually cheaper in the long-run. And, they have a disco ball. And, sometimes one just needs a little pick-me-up drink made by someone else while sitting under a disco ball. I can be hip for a moment. A friend of mine suggested that I could go pull her 15 year old juicer out of the garage if I wanted to. She said she bought one the first time they were hip (in the 70’s) and then bought another one the second time they became cool again (in the 90’s). Now she also just goes to the Gem and enjoys the peppy atmosphere and the disco ball instead of the work actually involved in feeding and running and cleaning a juicer. I’m with her. If I can’t do it in my Vita-Mix, I ain’t doin’ it. But, this, I can do in my blender.

Here’s the weird thing; this green concoction is really quite good and it is improving my life a tad. And, I foresee that in a short period of time I will have enough room in my britches to go over to Fort Worth and eat a cheeseburger at the Swiss Pastry Shop. These things are made with local Wagyu beef and loaded with cheese and peppers and have names like the “eieiO” burger. There’s a healthy lifestyle goal brought to you by me…drink enough of this green stuff to have room in your jeans for a giant cheeseburger. That, my friends, is what I call moderation.

Big Green Drink IngredientsLast week, I offered my mother a taste of this when she was in town and she got a distant youthful look on her face…like she was about 10 years old…and said “that smells like I just slid in the grass and skinned my knee…or like fresh lawn clippings.” How’s that for a ringing endorsement. But like a kid needing to try something several times before liking it, by the time you have made this three times you will be hooked. Hear me clearly…I love this stuff. I love the ginger. I love the apple. It is sweet yet it literally tastes green.

Should you drink this in the car on your way to a meeting, please check your teeth in the rear-view mirror as you arrive. Your teeth might be coated in a blanket of green.  Turns out my mother did not even taste my green drink, she is so green-teeth phobic.

Add this to your personal mix of joyfully naughty habits and occasional penance. I have. And I think it will be around my kitchen for awhile.

Green Smoothie, Take 2
Prep time:
Total time:
Serves: 2
Another great green smoothie to add your arsenal of healthful treats.
  • 1 small cucumber, coarsely chopped
  • 1 Granny Smith apple, cored and seeded
  • 2 stalks of celery, coarsely chopped
  • ½ cup fresh parsley
  • ½ cup frozen chopped spinach
  • 1 to 2 teaspoons grated ginger
  • 2 to 4 teaspoons honey
  • ¾ cup orange juice
  • 1 cup ice cubes
  1. Place all of the ingredients in a blender and process until smooth. Drink immediately.


I do have a Vita-Mix blender with a smoothie setting that lasts about 2 minutes. This thing could chop wood. It should come with ear muffs for hearing protection. If your blender is not as macho as mine, you might need to add a little more liquid or turn it off and re-distribute the ingredients a few times. Once the cucumber and apple get liquefied, everything else starts going smoothly.

Also, grating ginger can be a pain, so process a lot at once. Place all of your grated ginger in a small re-sealable bag and freeze it. Then you can whack the frozen ginger with a mallet (in the bag) and it will shatter into perfectly manageable frozen chunks which you can toss into the blender. Frozen things are good…they mean you may add a little less ice.

Maybe my mom won’t go for this, but both of my kids…one of whom is emotionally allergic to green vegetables, like it.

Other smoothies you can find on PIE include Lori’s “I wish I Were On the Beach” Smoothie, Kale Smoothie a.k.a Green Smoothie, Take 1, and Mixed Berry and Banana Smoothies.


Finally, there are new Nancy Lou Webster spoons in the Pie ETSY shop. I’d love for you to drop by for some window shopping.



  1. Anne Mullen says

    I remember a phase of dying food when my kids were little, and we all discovered that blue or green drinks may taste the same, but none of us could stand them. My jeans will have to be way tight to try this; sorry.

  2. Kelly says

    Anne, you are funny. Thanks to Dr. Seuss, anything dyed green is a HIT in our house. Anything that comes green naturally can be a little suspect. I look forward to taking a break from moderation, myself.

  3. Ann says

    Really, when you think about it, just eat those foods. It will taste way better and is a heck of a lot easier!


  4. Kelly says

    You are more brave than I, Ann. The likelihood of me eating a straight tablespoon of grated ginger…or cooking frozen spinach for lunch is nil. Oh, and I pretty much detest straight cucumbers. I love pickles, but I do not love cucumbers. So, for me anyway, this drink is far better than the mere sum of its parts. Oh, and have you ever wolfed down a straight packed half cup of curly parsley. Not gonna happen in this house unless it is part of a giant bowl of tabbouleh. So, at least for me…taking three minutes to dump a bunch of chopped and straight from the freezer ingredients into the blender actually is a huge time saver and has me consuming things I would not be consuming otherwise. But, wow, more power to you. For a wimp like me, blended with OJ and honey is the best bet. Have a great weekend.

  5. Vince says

    “This smoothie/juice concoction absolutely reeks of trendiness and band-wagon hopping, kale chip eating, spirulina quaffing, fashion-vegan blather that usually gets me grumpy and headed for the nearest chopped beef sammie.”

    This post absolutely reeks of a lack of empathy and understanding that usually gets me grumpy and headed for the nearest cruelty-free meal.
    See, I understand that everyone has their own diet and their own set of ethics they choose to follow and uphold, but it is both unnecessary and impolite to bash and insult someone else’s philosophy simply because you feel its mere existence attacks your own. You expect vegans to respect your choices; respect theirs in turn.

  6. Kelly says

    Just as a broken clock is right twice per day, sometimes our most committed lifestyle choices are also caught up in the vortex of a trend momentarily. To wit, I will still love pies when no one is putting them on the cover of food magazines. I loved them before and I will love them after. But right now, this art-form to which I am earnestly committed is “trendy.” The same happened with cupcakes, and I liked them before and after the cupcake tsunami. I think I’ll make some tomorrow, in fact. Right now, like it or not, you cannot swing a dead cat without hitting a green juice recipe or photo, or without hitting a new juice bar, exactly 10% of which will survive this “trend” because they were there before the trend. I believe the friends I mentioned in my post are in that category. They were serving the health-conscious, the athletes, and the committed vegans before juicing became the food & beverage darling of the year. It is a trend right at this moment, dare I say it is fashionable, whether you were doing it before and whether you will be doing it after. You are clearly not riding a trend, but are a committed vegan for life. Good for you. Hooray. Congratulations. Now you can congratulate me on liking pie before it was trendy…again…as though it was ever not the perfect expression of love and comfort.

    As for my statement that ruffled your feathers so. I am not a vegan. I am a lover of all sorts of food including fish, fowl, and beef. I hunt. I fish. Occasionally, I smoke giant briskets on a backyard smoker that I tend for 14 hours. My last post was on how to grind your own hamburger meat at home, for crying out loud. And when I’m not eating meat, I’m practically applying butter to my thighs or dreaming up new ways to put more fat in a cookie. But you are clearly not one of my regular readers or you would know that, and that I would never intentionally hurt your feelings. And, I do apologize if I really hurt your feelings.

    But when I (not you) do a GREEN JUICE recipe, I (not you) am clearly hopping onto the bandwagon of juicing joy and waving my Hip Foods 2014 flag. I (not you) am a visitor to, not a resident of juice-ville. Therefore, talking the talk about juicing makes me feel slightly silly and therefore I threw in the SELF-deprecating line about not wanting to act like a “fashion-vegan.” I just happen to like green juice. You seem not to be a fashion-vegan and so I’m not really sure what you are so irritated about. From all appearances being a committed vegan is hard work. I did not, and would not, insult someone for honestly held food choices. And, I never ever worry about whether someone respects my food choices. I could care less. Food should bring joy and sustenance, not another opportunity to worry about what other people think. Though one could argue that since I eat foods that are technically vegan, and you do not eat the things I like, and in fact imply that they are “cruel”, that I am more respectful of you than you are of me.

    Next year, I might not have any juice at all and you can go back to owning the genre. Until then, relax friend, or all that healthy eating will do you no good because the damage anger and frustration and anxiety do to a body is far worse than my bad eating habits.

    As for being cruelty free, I’m glad you apply that to the animals, but why not give it a whirl with the humans now and again. You don’t know me, yet you assumed the worst of me. That is not cruelty free living. And, I’m actually a fairly decent human being as I assume you are, as well. Good luck on your journey.

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